Friday, 23 December 2016

All good things often come to an end....

Hey  guys,
So in my other post I was rambling on about my new amazing boyfriend...well unfortunately he is now my EX boyfriend.

After having an amazing shopping trip around Town with him which ended with a cheeky kiss, my best friend, the same girl I was talking about in my old post, came to sleep at mine. Long story short we were awake on FaceTime to Specs and DJ on and off all night till about 5:30 am the following morning and the last thing he told me to do was to check his most recent facebook post then he hung up on us. So we checked the post and it said that DJ was in a relationship with (another girl who I am not going to name). HE CHEATED ON ME. I felt physically sick. However, me and my friend were pretty drunk anyway so we can't remember every detail anyway.
The best thing about having an amazing friend like her is that when we woke up the following morning our SnapChat stories were hilarious. We had completely humiliated DJ and she made me feel so much better about our break up that I wasn't completely devastated because she had made me see the positives like

  1. I wont have to put up with his smoking
  2. I wont have to put up with his aggressive drunken behavior over FaceTime
  3. And I wont have to put up with the anxiety he was causing me to have
During our relationship my anxiety has been extremely bad because I have put up with a lot of crap and even just being in a relationship has put me completely out of my comfort zone causing me to over think every single little tiny detail making me get panicky over nothing.

So, although I feel a little heart broken, I have to think of the positives and my anxiety has been a whole lot better since our breakup (which by the way it was 2 nights ago now) and I can already see the difference.

On a brighter side of things something has happened in my family life which I feel a whole bunch of emotions about so stay tuned for a new blog post about this topic ;-)

And on an even brighter note "It's Christmas Eve, Eve" (try name that program where they say that)

Anyway bye for now, GemsBlog x x x

Monday, 19 December 2016

My favourite quotes from my favourite books

Hey guys,
So for my second post this evening I really want to give you a list of my favourite quotes from two incredible books that I love at the minute, All The Bright Places and Billy and Me. So here they are:

From All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven:
          1) "You are all the colours in one, at full brightness"
          2) " We do not remember days, we remember moments"
          3) "Sometimes there's beauty in the tough words - it's all in how you read them"
          4) "The future is uncertain, but that can be a good thing"
          5) "Before I die I want to ________"
          6) "Let's go. Let's count for something. Let's get off that ledge"
          7) "Disguise the pain. Don't call attention. Don't be noticed"
          8) "The problem with people is they forget that most of the time it's the small things that                       count. Everyone's so busy waiting in the Waiting Place"
          9) "If there's one thing I know, it's that no one can promise anything"
         10) "Maybe even the smallest places mean something"
       
From Billy and ME by Giovanna Fletcher:
          1) "Love makes life worth living, not money"
          2) "I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship"
          3) "There's no point worrying until we know what we're worrying about"
          4) "I have for the first time found what I can truly love - I have found you"
          5) "I preferred to blend into the background unnoticed. I felt safer that way"
          6) "You've got to make the most of life and not let these little opportunities pass you by"
          7) "The fear of getting close to someone if they leave"
          8) "I think it's funny how life can lead you down certain paths which you wouldn't have                     taken otherwise"
          9) "There's only so long you can live in a fantasy world before the reality comes along to                     sharply put you back in your place"
         10) "I wish I could bottle up the feelings of love inside and save them for a rainy day - to                      remind myself of their magnitude in those moments of doubt"

Okay so that's my favourite quotes from some amazing books which I highly recommend you have a read of if you haven't already.

Question of the day:
What is your favourite quote?

By for now, GemsBlog x x x

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep, slowly then all at once"

Hey guys,
A lot has changed since my last blog post. I know that it's been about 2 months since I last posted on here but I have been totally busy with exams that I barely had time to see my horse never mind writing a blog post.
So, one of the biggest change that has happened in my life is that I have found an amazing lad who I love so very much. He's the greatest person alive and I am so happy to be a part of his life.

How did we meet?
It all started when my best friend was on FaceTime to me telling me about this boy (who, for the sake of this blog post, I am going to call Specs). She was telling me about how she is "talking" (which basically means the stage before any relationship where you get to know each other and you see if they are the one you want to share your life with etc) to Specs and she was telling me about Specs' friend (who I am going to call DJ for the sake of this blog) so I found him on Facebook and sent him a friend request. Whilst I was on FaceTime to my friend DJ sent me a message asking me who I was. After talking to him for a good half hour we starting getting to know each other etc and we really connected. We continued "talking" to each other over messenger for the next few days and each message I received gave me this weird butterfly feeling in my stomach and that's how I knew that I really liked him a lot.
A couple of days later I met up with him at school and it was a bit awkward at first as my friend and his friend were both stood there so DJ and I were feeling a tad bit nervous but we soon chilled out after a while. However, we had our first argument when he told me that he did something and I didn't believe him as it was ridiculously stupid and so after I told him that I didn't believe him he got annoyed with me and I got annoyed with him. The next day he apologised to me and I did the same. We were soon back to normal. Then a couple of days later he asked me out and of course I said yes but then, thanks to my anxiety, I started having second thoughts so I had to end it pretty much the next day. He totally understood my reasons and so we weren't arguing or falling out. Then I had a total breakdown because I just ended a relationship with the one person I loved so I met up with him and we were talking and I ended up giving him a massive hug and now we are back in the "talking" stage.
This time round, it feels different. No more second thoughts. No more drama. Nothing other than true feelings.
I'm meeting up with him in town on Wednesday (the day after tomorrow) and I cannot wait. To be able to spend a day with the one person I love is the best thing that could ever happen to me.

The hardest thing:
The hardest thing about all of this is that he is my first ever proper boyfriend and he knows that and respects that I haven't kissed anyone before and that I have no clue what I am doing so he knows not to rush into things. It is just hard though because I am literally going into this clueless. I don't know how relationships work but the one thing I do know is that I love him very much and he loves me even more and that is all that matters I suppose.

A bit about DJ:
DJ (obviously not his real name but I am not gonna tell you what it is as it isn't fair on him) goes to the same school as me, however he is in the year above me (Y11). He is quite 'badass' and does get onto trouble quite a lot (but don't worry guys I'm not gonna turn into a 'badass' girl who skips class or anything haha). I can't really tell you too much as I promised to keep his secrets (sorrryyyy).

I told him about my anxiety and my panic attacks and how they have almost taken over my life and he really understands and wants to help me get through them. I also told him that Spencer (my horse) will always come before him and he understands that too although they still need to meet ;)

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep,, slowly then all at once" - John Green
I found this quote and found it so fitting to my love life. DJ and I fell in love with each other slowly and then all at once.

I will try and keep you posted more often on this blog as it is the Christmas holidays so I will have more time to write and publish more posts.

Hope you have a lovely day!

Bye for now,, GemsBlog x x x